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The Unofficial "Thank You, Dumbass" Thread

47K views 404 replies 122 participants last post by  po18guy 
#1 ·
Just what it says. A place to post your near misses and "oh ****" moments, not caused by you.

I'll start by thanking DOG WALKER MAN. I applaud your inability to hold on to your shiny black lab in an open field. It was good for my cardiovascular system when the dog went loping across my path, causing me to test my brakes at 65mph. At least now I know that, in a true panic situation, my body and mind default to the front brake. I hope you heard my loud cry of FUCKHEAD as I drove by, and did not misinterpret my "wave" as a friendly one.
 
#152 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Thanks to the dumbass who changed lanes about 20' in front of me when a section of the right lane opened up and I was two-up with my son lane splitting through slow traffic! :mad: At least they gave about 1/2 seconds warning by turning on their turn signal just as they started their change! Fortunately here in CA I'm always looking out for the idiots who don't look when a space opens up.
 
#153 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

I would like to thank you kind lady for reminding me why I drive defensively. I would also like to suggest that you get a primer lesson on how to properly use a roundabout especially the section pertaining to how the inside lane is not the exit lane for the highway and that just moving from the inside to the outer lane does not fix the problem especially when I am right next to you. I would also like to express a hearty your welcome for not kicking your side view mirror off, denting your hood, punching your passenger, and for not flipping you the bird.
 
#154 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Incognitus Ninja said:
I would like to thank you kind lady for reminding me why I drive defensively. I would also like to suggest that you get a primer lesson on how to properly use a roundabout especially the section pertaining to how the inside lane is not the exit lane for the highway and that just moving from the inside to the outer lane does not fix the problem especially when I am right next to you. I would also like to express a hearty your welcome for not kicking your side view mirror off, denting your hood, punching your passenger, and for not flipping you the bird.
traffic circles are one of those things that seems like a good idea at the time... but they get ruined by people who don't intimately know how to use them. In DC there are a couple that are not at all intuitive in their directions and flows... it's fine if you live down the street, but at least once a week the things would be blocked by an accident because someone would just barrel through the wrong way.
 
G
#155 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Thank you to the two friendly motorcyclists who chose to pass me on the right (shoulder) rather than just lane split and go to my left. I was giving you practically the entire lane to my left, plus whatever else you could fit. I can't imagine you were passing me on the shoulder for any other reason than to try and add an inch or two to your flaccid pecker.
 
#156 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

mtk1210 said:
Thank you to the two friendly motorcyclists who chose to pass me on the right (shoulder) rather than just lane split and go to my left. I was giving you practically the entire lane to my left, plus whatever else you could fit. I can't imagine you were passing me on the shoulder for any other reason than to try and add an inch or two to your flaccid pecker.
I hate limp chicken.
 
#158 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

not been in any of those situations but i have seen from a pickup trucks view some of those... is there a way to change the lame horn on a ex500 to say a semi truck horn... i would gladly give up a couple horse power to grab other drivers attention :}
 
#159 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Phoenixhawk said:
not been in any of those situations but i have seen from a pickup trucks view some of those... is there a way to change the lame horn on a ex500 to say a semi truck horn... i would gladly give up a couple horse power to grab other drivers attention :}
the problem is more the electrical system... maybe you could mount a separate battery for a train horn
 
#160 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

epThorn said:
Phoenixhawk said:
not been in any of those situations but i have seen from a pickup trucks view some of those... is there a way to change the lame horn on a ex500 to say a semi truck horn... i would gladly give up a couple horse power to grab other drivers attention :}
the problem is more the electrical system... maybe you could mount a separate battery for a train horn
I have had good luck with the $15 FIAMM car horn from O'Riellys. Get the low-tone one. When mounting it in the original location, be sure the top of your fork slides (The black part that holds the wheel) doesn't smack the horn when your suspension compresses, or you'll break the horn. Sounds like a car horn, and gets driver's attention cause they think they've almost hit a car, which could scratch their vehicle and cause some concern. Should give one enough time to punch a door and escape.
 
#161 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Not about a motorcycle, but thanks to the dumbass who said "I can't see around this vehicle, so I guess I'll go ahead anyway." That was my wife's truck you pulled out on front of. The truck we have spent a bit of money and a lot of time fixing up, and now have to fix again. My wife loved that little S-10, but fortunately is OK except for some bruises and soreness.

At least he had insurance, and was nice about it. Hopefully his insurance company won't drag their feet and will either get the truck fixed or (more likely) total it.
 

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#162 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Thanks to the dumba$$ who parked my Ninja next to a picturesque rural bridge for a photo op, and watched as it fell on its left side. :mad:

Oh wait, that was me.

Now I need a new clutch lever. Cracked the front turn signal and scraped my nice 650R mirror housing too. Oh well, it started and ran, and I rode it another hour before going home.
 
#163 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

zymurgist said:
Thanks to the dumba$$ who parked my Ninja next to a picturesque rural bridge for a photo op, and watched as it fell on its left side. :mad:

Oh wait, that was me.

Now I need a new clutch lever. Cracked the front turn signal and scraped my nice 650R mirror housing too. Oh well, it started and ran, and I rode it another hour before going home.
all cheap until you crack the fairing good...
 
#168 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Thank you city of Gastonia, for not fixing lines when they are down. I ducked behind windshield and barley cleared it. You couldn't see it until you were right at, it blended in so well. I was like "OH NO BATMAN!" and ducked when I spotted it, almost too late. I cleared it by two inches, at most.

 
#169 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Littlepaw said:
Thank you city of Gastonia, for not fixing lines when they are down. I ducked behind windshield and barley cleared it. You couldn't see it until you were right at, it blended in so well. I was like "OH NO BATMAN!" and ducked when I spotted it, almost too late. I cleared it by two inches, at most.

Holy ****, that's dangerous :eek:
 
#170 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Thank you to the person that kept stopping right on my ass on my commute to work. I really didn't mean for you to almost hit the car in front of me as I swerved into the right lane to get away from your dumb ass...lol. That should teach you a lesson on tail gating. That could of been me under your truck, if I didn't get away so quick.
 
#171 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Littlepaw said:
Thank you city of Gastonia, for not fixing lines when they are down. I ducked behind windshield and barley cleared it. You couldn't see it until you were right at, it blended in so well. I was like "OH NO BATMAN!" and ducked when I spotted it, almost too late. I cleared it by two inches, at most.

Wow, that's bad. Good thing you weren't on a dual sport...
 
#172 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Thank you, motorcycle shop, for not putting the drain plug back in TIGHTLY when you changed my oil last time. The thrill of feeling the rear wheel slip as I merged off the main road into the lane that turns into my apartment complex, while being honked at by a cager as a warning that my rear tire was being coated by hot oil out of my crankcase at that exact instant, was amazing. Thankfully, I was riding the 250 and, thankfully, I had the good sense to take that merge and subsequent turn slowly.

*******.

I have not talked to the shop manager yet, but you can bet that I'll ALWAYS check that drain plug and any work mechanics do to my bikes in the future!
 
#173 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

MikesGSX1300RK9 said:
Thank you, motorcycle shop, for not putting the drain plug back in TIGHTLY when you changed my oil last time. The thrill of feeling the rear wheel slip as I merged off the main road into the lane that turns into my apartment complex, while being honked at by a cager as a warning that my rear tire was being coated by hot oil out of my crankcase at that exact instant, was amazing. Thankfully, I was riding the 250 and, thankfully, I had the good sense to take that merge and subsequent turn slowly.

*******.

I have not talked to the shop manager yet, but you can bet that I'll ALWAYS check that drain plug and any work mechanics do to my bikes in the future!
the car was probably honking at you because you were getting oil on them...
 
#175 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

Hi, just to clue you in- the reason everyone is darting around you on the right is because you're MOVING TOO SLOWLY. If you're not passing cars, move right when there are cars behind you. No, it does not matter if you are doing the speed limit, dumba$$.
 
#176 ·
Re: The Unofficial "Thank You, dumba$$" Thread

MikesGSX1300RK9 said:
Thank you, motorcycle shop, for not putting the drain plug back in TIGHTLY when you changed my oil last time. The thrill of feeling the rear wheel slip as I merged off the main road into the lane that turns into my apartment complex, while being honked at by a cager as a warning that my rear tire was being coated by hot oil out of my crankcase at that exact instant, was amazing. Thankfully, I was riding the 250 and, thankfully, I had the good sense to take that merge and subsequent turn slowly.

*******.

I have not talked to the shop manager yet, but you can bet that I'll ALWAYS check that drain plug and any work mechanics do to my bikes in the future!
this is exactly why i do my work myself.
 
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