well for me, i just got my bike back in october and i didn't tell my parents right away. but with me being 23 there isn't much they could do about it. i paid for it with my money, and they both knew that it was something i've always wanted. i know my mother might not agree with me riding but it isn't her choice, and i told her that (in a much nicer way of course ) but my dad is all for it, he used to ride back before i was born.

but i guess for advice just keep telling them that you are riding safe, and don't be lying to them when you say it. don't do idiotic things to put yourself in bad situations. and i would say to show them statistics but the majority of them out there show how much safer gear is once you crash, and i'm sure the only word they are looking at is crash

good luck though. if it's something you love doing then don't let them discourage you and if they see you going out to ride, make sure you have ALL your gear on just to put them at a little bit more ease.

 

Don't lie to them.
If they say don't ride it, and you are under their roof, don't ride it.


There is really no points you can bring up. It is very dangerous and many people die. Lots of people also live and ride for many years.

My mom who is many states away also worries, I am sure many parents do. There is nothing you can really do except ride safe and respect them and yourself. Once they see that they will calm down but probably never stop worrying.

 

I got my bike at 17, crashed within a week, and broke my back. My parents never said anything about me not being allowed to ride. I'm guessing that's for two reasons; 1) If I still want to ride after something like that, there's not much they could do to stop me. All I'd have to do it move out. 2) I'm responsible in every other aspect of my life and I've proven that I can be trusted.

Try having them follow you around. Show that you actually ride responsibly, and that you can handle yourself fairly well.

 

It was not much of a problem for me...my grandfather, my brother, now me. the thing that concerned her the most was the money :

At the time i took my MSF and why i was taking it, and i told her that i didn't want to go down more than she did. Its your skin not hers, so your worrying about yourself for the both of you

 

Hey man...

As a father of 6 year old twins, I am at not sure how things will go down in our house if, at less than 21 years, they want to ride a motorcycle.

I love motorcycling, but I love my kids more.

The big thing you realize with age and being a parent, is how little you knew about the world, how little you cared for your own safety, how many unnecessary risks you yourself took back when you were younger. Most parents recall with some embarrassment how stupid we were as kids...so, it doesn't matter how how safe you try to be or tell us you're gonna be....we said the same things to our own parents, and in fact we were still idiots.

Personally, as a father...if I could somehow force my kids to not ride motorcycles on the street until they were 30, I would. It isn't realistic, I know this....but until you are yourself a parent, you can't possibly understand how much your own folks love you and care about your safety (it just isn't possible to know). Even the thought of your child being in harms way, is emotional.

Sorry to ramble...hope this helps in some small way.

 

if you're financially dependent on your parents, then you're kinda screwed.

reasoning with them MIGHT get you somewhere.

see if you can get them to pay for safety gear or track time. Track riding is safer ;D

 

I told my rents its what I Love to do, and sorry but there was nothing they could do. My Mom said she didn't really like the idea, but she knew it was what I loved, so she said it was OK.

 

I am 21 years old and will be turning 22 in May. I have just been offered a full time position at an accounting firm. Besides my parents providing the roof over my head and the garage for my bike, I am financially independent.

And i def agree with what you guys are saying about smartening up as you get older. The way i look at it is right now i want a bike for purely entertainment reasons after a long day at work. I do not have a family yet to be dependent on me, and will probably not have a garage when i move out in a few years.

So im looking at right now being the ideal time for something like this. I'm not gonna lie, im intimidated of motorcycles and hopefully stay that way througout my riding career to keep myself from being reckless. MSF BRC and ERC classes are a definite along with head to toe gear.

I dunno if i can enjoy myself knowing my parents are at home sickly worried about me while im out riding though. The bike is not registered yet and the only gear so far is a helmet (AC-12, fits beautifully!)

I guess honestly theres nothing that i could learn from this post that i did not know already seeing as how there is a unique situation behind everyone. I will try my best to persuade my parents that not everyone dies on a motorcycle and that with the right training and preventitive measures, the risks can be minimized.

To the poster who broke his back....was it your fault?

 

the more times you come back home with a smile on your face, the more times they will be put to ease knowing you are safe.

when i told my mother that i would like to get a motorcycle, she told me flat out, "that's a bad idea...!  What if you get hurt?"  i told her, "Then i'll get hurt.  Big deal...  I'll learn from the experience, i'll heal up, and probably do it all over again." ...or something to that effect.

i actually brought her to the dealership with me so i could show her i could ride (and so she could bring my car back tot town) and she's been great ever since!  she actually supports my riding addiction by offering to pay for some track day expenses!  How awesome is that?!  she trusts me, i trust her, we both know the risk, and we both know how to best deal with it.

i was just 23 years old.

 

Ask if they want to buy you a car instead, and pay the difference in the gas bill. I bet they won't.

I came home from university for my birthday, which was also the day my friend was able to trailer the bike there. She didn't see it and when she did she cried on the front porch for at least 20 minutes. I didn't feel bad because thats my mom. She over reacts about EVERYTHING. I personally thought it looked good on her as the reason I have a bike now is because I was never able to get a proper drivers license in high school.

But then I'm kind of bitter about somethings. Maybe you actually like your mother... lol

 

After reading the above testimonies, I have a real respect for you all putting up with that. My EX was bought for me by my dad when I was 15, and I took over the payments right away. But it was easy for me, both my folks ride. When i was in highschool, our garage consisted of my brothers katana, my ex, my dads gold wing, his valkyrie, and my moms honda shadow. Now that both my brother and I are gone, they downsized.. my dad has a new wing, and the old one was converted to trike for my mom. So riding was really a family affair in our fam. Sorry you're going through so much trouble though.. I'd say if you bought the bike, its your responsibility.. if you pay for it, you pay for the insurance, then i'd just ride. Its yours. If they got it for you, you're hosed. Good luck!

 

How did you guys cope with this? what would be some good points to bring up?

You can show them real statistics like the fact that you are much, much more likely to die from a physician's error than being on a bike!

My dad was almost killed when he flipped over a borrowed Harley at age sixteen. It was his first time riding and he was on a gravel road! As you mentioned, you have gear and believe in learning to be safe, so what more do they want? Thousands die everyday in car accidents, but nobody mentions that.

Dad finally gave up and I got my first bike (at twelve) and I got my license on my sixteenth birthday. I paid for my bikes with money that I earned, so there wasn't much he could do. I know they are only thinking of your welfare, but it sounds like things are out of proportion to reality and that emotion is where they are coming from. Maybe you need to get an older rider that would be somebody they could trust, to talk to them. (I'll talk to them myself, if you want).
I've been riding forty years, off road, on road, commuting and touring and I'm still alive ;D
I try not to take chances, but I have had close calls, of course.

Good luck with your parents and I hope you can resolve the issue without too much strain!

 

Do exactly as you parents wish you to. They are completely correct. There is nothing to be gained by defiance. you will loose.

Trust me

FOG

 

Do exactly as you parents wish you to. They are completely correct. There is nothing to be gained by defiance. you will loose.

Trust me

FOG

Nobody has to "loose" if you aren't doing anything wrong! (This is, of course, assuming you are a responsible individual and their fears aren't based on previous "risk taking behaviour").

If they don't want you to ride a bike and won't listen to reason, then there might be other issues. Once you are eighteen and an adult, you can make your own choices. If you are living at home, under their wing, it is a different story, obviously you have to pretty much go by what they want you to do. You don't have to "defy" anybody by asking to discuss things in a rational manner, though, without emotion. If they are unable to have a rational discussion about riding and you are under their control, there is nothing you can do about it except acquiesce to their wishes or become independent yourself.

I moved out when I was seventeen and in college. I had a job and payed for my own room and board and school, so my dad's opinion on bikes was something I listened to, but it was his opinion not "fact". I never argued about it, since I wasn't going to change his mind.

Remember you can always get a bike later, if they are calling all of the shots now....

 

If you've already got a bike and a helmet, you're golden. If they'd make you sell it, then get the hell away from them ASAP.

Don't be intimidated by riding either. If you can't control your fears, riding is gonna be an awkward, trying, and likely painful experience. You have to be confident in your abilities to be safe.

 

I'm 38 and my family still worries over me , so just take it as they love you and only want the best for you , but you know you could be hurt in a car just as easily . I sort of feel if it was ment to be that way it's going to happen.

 

To the poster who broke his back....was it your fault?

100 percent. I was a stupid teenager. Now I'm a smart one ;D

Actually, it was the difference between driving a 2000lb, 85hp car to a 450lb, 52hp motorcycle. Got straight A's in high school, top 3% of my class, but it only takes half of second of stupidity to get hurt real bad. But I was probably lucky. If that crash hadn't seriously injured me, I was probably heading for one that was going to kill me.

 

Following comment is not addressed to Tommy, but was triggered by what he said.
"I sort of feel if it was meant to be that way it's going to happen."

The "fate" explanation for death comes around pretty often. It works because no matter what a person dies of... the "explanation" fits the circumstance.

It matters not that the person could've died of a disease when he was 2- but his mom got him to a doc before it was too late. Or that he would've died if the parachute he learned to pack wouldn't have opened right- but it did. Or- he could've died in a T-bone w/ the SUV that ran the red light in front of him- but he wasn't speeding from the previous light so he had time to evade the SUV. On and on. (yes, these are all my experiences)


Whenever one finally dies, at age 40 or 80 or 110, someone else could always say "Well, it was meant to be that way." Nah, wrong.

People who ride carefully, keep their skills sharp, maintain their bikes, keep visible, and who wear protective equipment, statistically have a huge survival advantage over those who don't. Note: I'm not arguing against the "wrong place at the wrong time" phrase though.

They don't live longer because survival was "meant to be"... but because they intentionally improved their odds.

We make our own luck. Both good luck and bad.

 

If you've already got a bike and a helmet, you're golden. If they'd make you sell it, then get the hell away from them ASAP.

I totally agree. If they can't accept that you're a 22 year old college grad who is an ADULT then move out because things will only get worse. Just because you're living with them doesn't mean you have to be treated like a teenager regardless of who's roof it is you're under.

 

all good replies guys

My parents don't really baby me or control me. Ever since senior year of high school the pretty much let me do my own thing as long as I did good in school. And about tellng them to buy me a car instead, well I just got my dads 2000 maxima cause he got himself a new car.

My goal is to rid their misconceptions that motorcycles are a guranteed death. I have been driving since I was 16 and have never gotten into an accident. The only ticket I ever got was for taking on a cellphone. So their biggest worry is all the cars around me which isn't even that big of a factor as I live in a fairly suburban place.

By any chance anyone stumble upon some sites that provide statistics?

 

PBS site w/ charts (does not separate motorcyclists)
http://www.pbs.org/fmc/book/13transportation4.htm

The trend continues, CNN Money magazine:
http://money.cnn.com/2007/07/23/autos/traffic_deaths_down/index.htm

Wikipedia articles:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_safety


Here's one you don't want to see:
http://www.chp.ca.gov/html/motorcycle.html

"Motorcyclists are over-represented in the recent increase in traffic deaths in California.

Data shows a:
* 102% increase in motorcycle fatalities from 1998 to 2005, compared to a 24% increase for all traffic fatalities statewide.
* 63% increase in motorcycle severe injuries from 1998 to 2005, compared to a 4.9% increase for all traffic severe injuries statewide

Another conspicuous trend involves the number of motorcyclist fatalities and their age. Several groups of riders are overrepresented, compared to their presence in the motorcycle riding population. For example, a small percentage of the owner are riders aged 15-19(4%) and 20-24(6%), yet represent nearly twice that percentage of fatalities (11-13%). A second group of riders that are overrepresented according to their presence in the population is riders aged 25-54. It should also be noted that 90% of the fatal victims are male.

The primary cause for 59% of the motorcycle collisions were attributed to three factors:

* Unsafe speed
* Improper turning
* Driving under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs

Of the motorcycle-involved collisions, 65% of the fatal and 56% of the injury collisions were the fault of the motorcyclist."

Your argument then becomes- you're not a typical young rider: you drive within the law & within your abilities; you ride safer (?) streets; you keep your "watch & evade" skills sharp; and you are not stupid w/ drugs/alcohol nor are you a dare taker (don't hang w/ idiot friends if you are susceptible to peer pressure).

More:
http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/people/injury/pedbimot/motorcycle/NAMS2006/pages/Overview.html
http://www.safeusa.org/move/motorcyc.htm

 

good stuff mrscitrek....ill def take a good look at all those

 

That's rough man. I would do as your parents wish to the best of your ability, for as long as you're able. Wait until you're on your own a bit more. Later on, go out of your way to prove them wrong - pay enough attention to safety that you never get into an accident. Do everything that you can to make yourself safe, and I mean everything. All the gear, all the training, all the caution and vigilance, and maybe even a goofy bright green visibility vest and white helmet. If you do that, chances are you'll come out OK, and both you and your parents will be glad for that.

My parents and my relatives and friends always ask me, of motorcycling, "Isn't that really dangerous?"

My response is always the same: "It is dangerous for some people, but it can be done safely. And I am living evidence of that."

Your parents are exactly correct. Riding a motorcycle is extremely dangerous. But with enough attention to detail, and enough vigilance and self restraint, and perhaps with a tiny bit of luck, it can be done safely.

 

your parents disapproval is only going to make it harder to enjoy riding and focus on it theyre lack of cofidence in you is going to make you feel inadequate to handle situations that will get you hurt and in the end could cause you to make a bad mistake

 

My parents and my relatives and friends always as me, of motorcycling, "Isn't that really dangerous?"

My response is always the same: "It is dangerous for some people, but it can be done safely. And I am living evidence of that."

I don't agree with that. Motorcycling is more dangerous than driving by default. No amount of gear can protect you as well as a roll cage, seat belts, and 6 air bags.